My Take on the Male Loneliness Epidemic
My Take on the Male Loneliness Epidemic
By Dan Aguilera
There’s a lot of talk on social media these days about the rise of depression and loneliness in men, and this is something that’s at the core of my coaching program and something I have strong feelings about.
While the majority of this talk on male loneliness centers around the disproportion of dating options between men and women as well and the struggle to find genuine connection, men struggling to build friendships with other men plays a huge factor as well.
A December 2024 article on the blog site Medium, men under the age of 30 are more likely to be single than women and have 50% fewer friends than women. Here’s a link to the article if you’d like to check it out yourself:
https://medium.com/blog/untangling-the-male-loneliness-epidemic-ff059376d6e0
But how did this happen? What has led to men suffering in silence? The theories are endless. Below are a few that stand out to me personally as I have experienced them all myself.
1. 1. The advancement of technology and remote work environments, while often providing convenience and flexibility, has created a world where people feel more comfortable connecting digitally than in person. It’s become the new norm.
2. 2. Social media influencers who show off their luxurious lifestyles, monetary successes, and seemingly effortless ability to attract women, makes men feel worthless and unlovable for not having the appeal, not realizing how superficial and somewhat unrealistic these standards are.
3. 3. The availability of pornography gives men the ability to satisfy their sexual impulses on their own and, while giving them temporary dopamine hits, leaves them feeling even more isolated and shameful when “finished”. Even more important to recognize, this easy access to porn makes men less motivated to seek romantic and sexual opportunities with women in the real world.
4. 4. Dating apps have given us the illusion of endless dating options in our area when, in reality, men’s match rates are DRASTICALLY lower that those of women. If a man is lucky enough to match and start a conversation on one of these apps like Hinge or Bumble, his chances of scheduling a date that actually occurs and leads to a second date is probably around 1% on the generous side. This constant swiping to get more matches and potential dates becomes addicting and keeps men in this cycle of constant effort with minimal payoff.
Now I know this sounds all doom and gloom, but in case you aren’t aware by now after reading a few of my posts, I am about EMPOWERMENT, not victimization.
I’ve experienced all of the above disheartening realities of modern masculinity and have been in the deep depths of depression as a result. But I’m here to tell you, you don’t have to live here forever.
Me being able to coach men struggling with isolation or feelings of worthlessness not only benefits them, but fills me with an incredible amount of warmth and joy.
If this resonates with you, please schedule a 1-1 call with me where we will discuss your current situation as well as what you want to change. I am super eager to join this journey with you!
Booking link: https://empowermencoaching.com/book-a-call
